I have been dreading this week...

I have been dreading this week but it is here… My brother David died 5 years ago on July 25^th which just happens to be my son Jason’s birthday.  David would have been 60 on July 18^th…. How can that be.? We are still young kids…aren’t we? Until we look in the mirror…who is that looking back at us?  I heard mom say that so many times over the years.  She died one year ago this Saturday, July  21^st. One of the worst days of my life….How to get through these days?  The 18^th through the 25^th hold horrible memories… How do you just think about the happy times…they always end up being sad…..  I have tried and tried to push it away…don’t think about it… just don’t think about him…her..… recently I have been able to speak my mom’s name…that’s big…….. I have not had the courage to go through all the boxes of journals and pictures piled in my bonus room and guest room…it still hurts too much… In my life I have lost my brother Dale when he was 33 to 2 Drunk Drivers hitting head on…he was a passenger and the only one killed…  I lost My Dad to Bone Cancer in 2003, My Brother David to Liver Cancer 5 years ago and my Mom to Congestive heart failure which led to her fall and the broken hip she never recovered from… Sometimes it just seems like too much… WHY??? But God.. He knows and I try not to question because without Him, I would not be able to face these days coming up.  Thank you for your prayers as I go through these days and remember His mercies are new every morning.  Great is Thy Faithfulness…

Update: God is good all the time. My week was nothing like I dreaded because my God was in control.